What To Do With Kid Who Is Affraid Of Dad

[fsd21 0]

I'm having a problem on my team and I'm not sure how to deal with it. I have an assistant coach who is causing a problem on our team. He runs the offense and he continues to go against everything I have told him to do. We are a 6-7-8 year old team. I have 21 kids and 17 of them is there first year. I have put in 8 plays that we are to run but he continues to run what he wants and this is confusing the kids. I'v talked with him many times but he continues to do what he does.

He also has a son on our team. His son is pretty good but he thinks hes the next coming of Walter Payton. When he is at the game his son forgets were he is to run or were he is to be on defense. When his dad is not there the kids is great. I think he is afraid of hi dad. Just my feeling.

A three weeks ago the kid was limping and I pulled him out of the game. His dad was screaming at him to suck it up. I refused to put him back in the game because I felt he was hurt. Turns out he went to the DR and has a stress fracture. He and his dad returned to practice and he want his son to play. I said you have a dr. release and he said no but he can play. Get the DR. release then he can play. He was not happy and the Dr. would not give a release.

Well yesterday he was released by the Dr to play in the game. Again the son forgot were to go on the plays and was just all over the field. His dad was all oer this kid. I want the guy gone. But I feel the son needs to play. I know if I tell him to leave he will take his son to.I dont want to take the game away from him. I need some advise. This guy is just taking everything I have out of me.

I've talked with my league Cordinator about it and he said he would take care of it if I wanted him to. Id rather do it myself.

[slogar1 0]

I was in the same situation last year; 12 years as head coach and had an out-of-control first year assistant coach with a player on the team. I threw the coach off the team after he continued to undermine my decisions. You must do what is best for ALL the team and if he takes his kid with him, so be it. In my situation, his kid REFUSED to quit and he actually relieved that his dad was gone. What is important here is the stability of your organization and the stability of your position and your team. You do not have to put up with such attitude and I would highly advise you not to. What kind of an example does this set for other parents? Who is in charge? If he takes his kid off the team that puts the nail in the coffin that the guy is an a-hole. What do your bylaws say? What are your rights as the Head Coach? Another route is: give him a warning, next infraction suspend him one game, next infraction he is gone. Can't be more fair than that. Also, I make it a policy that a father cannot coach his own kid. I shut it down right now. It is obvious that he is there for only one reason and he is going to bring you and the whole team down. Use the rules I have given you and show him who is in charge ane check with you rorganization's bylaws; if it is not there, make sure they contain your right to dismiss a coach. Good luck to you!

[Sixth Grade Coach 0]

I'm having a problem on my team and I'm not sure how to deal with it. I have an assistant coach who is causing a problem on our team. He runs the offense and he continues to go against everything I have told him to do. We are a 6-7-8 year old team. I have 21 kids and 17 of them is there first year. I have put in 8 plays that we are to run but he continues to run what he wants and this is confusing the kids. I'v talked with him many times but he continues to do what he does.

He also has a son on our team. His son is pretty good but he thinks hes the next coming of Walter Payton. When he is at the game his son forgets were he is to run or were he is to be on defense. When his dad is not there the kids is great. I think he is afraid of hi dad. Just my feeling.

A three weeks ago the kid was limping and I pulled him out of the game. His dad was screaming at him to suck it up. I refused to put him back in the game because I felt he was hurt. Turns out he went to the DR and has a stress fracture. He and his dad returned to practice and he want his son to play. I said you have a dr. release and he said no but he can play. Get the DR. release then he can play. He was not happy and the Dr. would not give a release.

Well yesterday he was released by the Dr to play in the game. Again the son forgot were to go on the plays and was just all over the field. His dad was all oer this kid. I want the guy gone. But I feel the son needs to play. I know if I tell him to leave he will take his son to.I dont want to take the game away from him. I need some advise. This guy is just taking everything I have out of me.

I've talked with my league Cordinator about it and he said he would take care of it if I wanted him to. Id rather do it myself.

Let me start by saying that it is very important that you take care of this ASAP. Have you talked with the Coach/Father? sit down with him and ask him what struggles he is having coaching .... and yes it can be tough to coach your own kid I know I have higher expectations of my son then i do of other players. Last year I was a position coach and our team was 2-6 I was voted to be the head coach this year and one of our coachs with the star player didnt come out this year "he didnt want to play for a losing team" we have not missed a lick with out the coach Yes we could use his son he is a great player but his dad is his problem.

I would talk with him first tell him what you are feeling and if things dont improve quickly the ask him to leave. when you talk to hime talk about the fact that you expect if he leaves he will take his son. see ifn that is what his son would want.

At the begining of the season I asked my coaches what their goals where for them and their sons and had them write them down and give them to me. at our coaches meeting each week we reivew them . It has helped keep us as coachs focused on doing the right thing. have had no complaints from parentsand the kids seem to be enjoying it so far

Dave

[Coach G of BT 0]

I'm having a problem on my team and I'm not sure how to deal with it. I have an assistant coach who is causing a problem on our team. He runs the offense and he continues to go against everything I have told him to do. We are a 6-7-8 year old team. I have 21 kids and 17 of them is there first year. I have put in 8 plays that we are to run but he continues to run what he wants and this is confusing the kids. I'v talked with him many times but he continues to do what he does.

He also has a son on our team. His son is pretty good but he thinks hes the next coming of Walter Payton. When he is at the game his son forgets were he is to run or were he is to be on defense. When his dad is not there the kids is great. I think he is afraid of hi dad. Just my feeling.

A three weeks ago the kid was limping and I pulled him out of the game. His dad was screaming at him to suck it up. I refused to put him back in the game because I felt he was hurt. Turns out he went to the DR and has a stress fracture. He and his dad returned to practice and he want his son to play. I said you have a dr. release and he said no but he can play. Get the DR. release then he can play. He was not happy and the Dr. would not give a release.

Well yesterday he was released by the Dr to play in the game. Again the son forgot were to go on the plays and was just all over the field. His dad was all oer this kid. I want the guy gone. But I feel the son needs to play. I know if I tell him to leave he will take his son to.I dont want to take the game away from him. I need some advise. This guy is just taking everything I have out of me.

I've talked with my league Cordinator about it and he said he would take care of it if I wanted him to. Id rather do it myself.

First let me say that as the Head Coach you have certain obligations to your players. One if not the biggest is to make it fun for them. You have to have a Coaches meeting at the begionning of the year with your asst. coaches and let them know what you expect of them. As far as using fathers of players for coaches that is a situation I try to avoid. It can be a no win situation. If the fathers son is a stud, there will be parents who say it's preferential treatment. If the kid is not very good he will probably hear it from his spouse and child. Been there. But as far as your team and players go it is your responsibility to make sure that not only your Asst. Coaches but your parents are met with as early in the season as possible. You have to let the Coaches know what is to be done, how it will be done, and why. Let the parents know you make the decisions as far as who plays and who doesn't. Let them know that it is their duty to work with you to make it fun for the child. You have to let them know you will not put a player in a situation that they are not ready to face. Some players learn faster than others, have more experience. Ask your parents to help you keep their childs attitude positive. Regardless of playing time or record of your team. Often the parents are the ones who put negative thoughts into their childs head and then blame it on the child. Most kids just want to have fun. Practice is often enough for manby kids if brought across the right way. You have to take the weight off the shoulders of your Asst. Coaches, but let them know you are the one who has to answer to the board and parents and that as long as they do what you ask there will be no problems. All Coaches have to be on the same page, teaching things one way, which is determined by you. Your preseason meeting will allow your asst. coaches to address any ideas they may have so that when practices start if they have any good ideas or a better way to get where your going, you can put that in your practice. Good Luck