Taking It A Little Too Seriously?

[Johnp2 21]

Today, in one of the games in our tournament, I witnessed something that really concerned me.

I'll try to succinctly set the stage.

In the first round of the tourney, Team 1, who is one of the powerhouse teams in our league (going 8-2) was LOSING to Team 2 (who went 1-7) in the regular season 13-14 with five minutes left. It was great because Team 1 has a HUGE following with really loud, *obnoxious* fans--it is not uncommon for 80+ people to show up at their games (all wearing team jerseys, girls in full-blown cheerleading outfits, airhorns, etc.). Mind you, this is k-2nd grade football.

Thus I was estatic to see them losing, and even happier when Team 2 scored with 15 seconds left to make it 13-20. You should have seen all their fans, they were shell-shocked. One the next posession, Team 1 went the length of the field on their first play (a long catch/run for a TD), and of course pandemonium broke out. No time left on the clock (19-20) with only the PAT to tie it up. In our league PATs are from the five yard line. They called their play, it was a pass to a receiver who was standing right on the goal line. I saw him catch it in the air, bobble it, and drop it as he fell to the ground. The official called it an incomplete pass---the right call---game over.

However, this is when the "fun" started. I saw parents on the sidelines for Team 1 completely lose their minds. They were going bonkers, yelling at the official. I'm talking about grown men literally screaming at the top of their lungs. Thankfully I did not hear any profanity (although it was hard to decipher what was being yelled because so many people were screaming). This went on and on. It was amazing to see adults who are at the games with their family just completely go insane like that. There was a game going on in the field next to us, and they even all stopped down to walk over and see what the commotion was. To the teams' credit, their coaches were fairly subdued.

Of course Team 1 players were crying, but I saw parents crying too! One woman walked by me, tears in her eyes, screaming out loud "This isn't fair! This isn't right!"

I was standing next to my wife during this and just looked over and mouthed "wow" to her.

Have you guys seen much of this? I'd like to hear your experiences with overzealous parents.

Thanks!

[rushbuster70 16]

I've seen my fair share of this...On our last team this past spring we had a kid hurt his knee right after halftime...We sat him down on the sideline for the rest of the 2nd half.I see him crying and ask him why.His dad is yelling at him to get back into the game even though he is hurt.The injury lingered pretty much the rest of the season.He was our QB.I told him don't worry about your dad yelling that.We are on separate sidelines and he can't put you back in the game so calm down and take a seat and root us on.We did end up losing the game and it was disappointing but we aren't going to risk him getting hurt.

We also had another parent that would constantly yell for us to blitz the QB.We play alot of zone and dont blitz alot because we want all our kids in coverage to no risk giving up a big play.He would constantly yell that.When we would blitz and get a sack he would yell I told you guys you should blitz the QB.It was just rediculous to here.

Either way i'm sure everyone has some types of instances like this.It happens.Parents want there kids to win but yet put them in team sports and know its not all about winning but they make it that.

[Orange 26]

That's pretty severe. I have a couple of examples of things like that:

Two years ago we played in a league that didn't have a set time limit to get your plays off (6-7 year olds). I had my assistant running the offense and he would take a lot of time in the huddle. I admit that at times I got frustrated that he took too long but that's how he was. We were playing once and he was going slow in the huddle as usual. Some parents from the other team started yelling, "come on, "hurry up," and other such things. Then they began getting obnoxious so that they were yelling every time we went into a huddle. I spoke with my assistant after the game and he was totally oblivious to what they were saying but I sure wasn't. Admittedly I got really heated until finally I walked down to where they were and had a little chat with them. As calm as possible I explained that these were little kids just learning the game and because of that it takes more time in the huddle. I also explained that their heckling was counter-productive and that if they had a problem they should ask their coach to speak with the referee. They were less vocal after that. Of course they were a good team and we ended up beating them so I'm sure that didn't help them.

Last season we were beating a team by a couple of tds. The other team scored to pull it back to one and as I'm passing the other team on my way out to the field I hear the other coach yell, "OK, we're close now, only the A players in now. We need to stop them! Take out Billy and place in Johnny, etc." I was kind of dumbfounded, only the A players? How did the kids being pulled out feel about that? It's not like the coach was whispering, he was excited and shouting. Sorry, Mrs. X, your son was supposed to play this series but he's not an A player. Lol, the funny thing is we marched down the field and scored anyway, against their "A" players. We've all seen examples of coaches playing their best players but this was so obvious I was surprised.

Here's one that really bothered me. We were towards the end of a playoff game that we were winning like 27-6 or something, the game was basically over with no time left. The other team throws one towards our endzone and we get a pick. My star safety and qb looks to go the distance. He got chased down and then basically tackled from behind. I see the flag so I'm like "OK." But now my player is not getting up and he's holding his knee. I didn't hear it but one of my assistants said that he overheard the other coach saying to their kid, "good tackle, you have to do whatever it takes to stop him." Nice sportsmanship and good lesson huh? There really was nothing to do penalty-wise since the game was over and we eliminated them. We got the personal foul and one more play. My player eventually got up and seemed fine after a few minutes but it was really scary.

[Johnp2 21]

other coach saying to their kid, "good tackle, you have to do whatever it takes to stop him." Nice sportsmanship and good lesson huh?

Tackling was a HUGE problem in our league this year, and the refs for the most part allowed it. I would hear parents say stuff, and the refs would just turn to them and say, "This is football!" I think the fact we allow blocking (which really turned into full-throttle pancake-type blocks) and we play eight-on-eight it can happen.

Our final play of this season was a TD (as time ran out)---we were estatic, even though we lost. As we were going for the two point PAT (ten yards out)---my son who played QB all season, and was the only player on the team not to run with the ball (QB's can't run) asked if he could take a hand-off. He'd been wanting to for the past few games, but I needed him at QB. The team was MORE than excited about that so I put my RB at QB at put my son at RB. Mind you my son has never run with the football in a game in his life. He took it on an end-around, and was about to bring it in the to end zone when a player literally tackled him. Did not even go for the flag (jumped on his back and took him down). The opposing team's coach really dressed down his player for that (good for him). I looked at the ref like "What the heck?" The ref then just gave us the 2 points. Ha!

As my son got up he said (jokingly), "Maybe I should just stick to QB." :-)

[pointyfootball 0]

Parents...unfortunately they're needed to supply the $ and the taxi ride.

Kids love to win. But I think parents don't realize that kids can handle losing very well if they aren't subjected to abusive (that's the right word in my opinion) behavior by coaches and parents from the sidelines and/or on the ride home, as long as they are having fun.

Having coached soccer for 7+ years, football and observing my kids in basketball, baseball and swimming, there isn't much that shocks me anymore, sad to say.

* The 8 year old GK letting a goal in that was actually just a fantastic shot and seeing her just melt when her dad yelled at her from the sidelines.

* The fat, lazy parents who scream at their kids to "HUSTLE" in the final minute of a soccer game in 95 degree heat, high humidity when the kids are exhausted.

* A parent saying, "Well, at least we won" when his son was red-carded for punching a player in the back.

* Many, MANY players who are/were terrified to make a mistake on the soccer pitch for fear of the coaches/parents giving them grief.

* Parents cheering like it was the winning WC goal in a soccer match in which their team was winning by 12 and had the fullbacks up in the other teams penalty area and the coach pushing them to score more.

* A dad telling his son to "take him out if he tries to dribble around you like that again".

* A player gets the ball and has four different commands yelled at him (one from each coach and a couple from parents).

* Overheard a mom say, "Well maybe if he cries now and realizes he can't make that mistake he won't do it again."

Kind of like the rest of the world. As coaches we have to set an example, discourage the bad ones and focus on the good ones because their are a lot of good sports parents out there, they just don't get the pub that the others do.

Biggest thing that drives me nuts with coaches/parents is running the score up. There should NEVER be a reason for a recreation FF team to win 45-0. Or a soccer team to win 15-0. I've coached some fantastic teams (due to player ability, not coaching!), and it's amazing how demoralizing a defeat like that is to kids. I tell parents in our preseason meetings (if you don't do this now, make it a requirement - it will alleviate a lot of stress later on) that I coach my team on game day as if my child is playing on the other team. You coach/play to win, while respecting your opponent and bringing honor to your team, parents, coaches and club. Nothing ticks me off more than lopsided scores that don't need to be.

PF

[pointyfootball 0]

Last season we were beating a team by a couple of tds. The other team scored to pull it back to one and as I'm passing the other team on my way out to the field I hear the other coach yell, "OK, we're close now, only the A players in now. We need to stop them! Take out Billy and place in Johnny, etc." I was kind of dumbfounded, only the A players?

Amazing isn't it? I have a very similiar example, which ALMOST turned out to be such sweet poetic justice. During the regular season, we were playing the #1 team who had trounced teams. At one point, the other team is going into the huddle with the assistant coach and the head coach (from the sidelines 20 yards away) yells to his assistant coach the the mismatch is "over here", and points to my defensive player on his side of the field. It took me like 10 seconds to pick my jaw up and then I yelled in to my player to ignore the trash talking and just play. Ball is snapped and, sure enough, they throw it over to that side. But, my "weak" player steps in front of the pass, catches it on his shoulder (tyree-style), but then drops it. If he holds on to it, it's a pick-6. Even so, I probably cheered louder at that play then any other play throughout the season. To be so clueless amazed me. He essentially said, "we're going to throw it over here" and even 10 year olds can figure that out. But to humiliate a player that way, to me that should be a punishable offense. No cause for it at that age.

[Orange 26]

Here is a funny one:

I'm watching my son's baseball game and the other team is up to bat. Some kid strikes out and the woman next to me (her son is on our team) begins cheering loudly, "yea, way to go! Wohoo!" I know her well so I'm like, "hey, what the heck, cheering at a kid who struck out?" She says, "what? I wasn't cheering at him striking out. My son is the catcher and he finally caught the ball. I didn't even realize that he struck out." She of course meant perfectly well, but I suppose someone on the other side was pissed.

Also:

We have one kid who is very small. He's a tremendous athlete but just really little for his age. It's natural when the other teams see him that they stick one of their smaller, younger players on him to cover him. That's a mistake. I like to throw a quick pass to him and let him run to the outside. He can usually beat his defender and then they wise up and switch to someone more capable of covering him.

[Orange 26]

As for lopsided scores, well, we have certainly been on the winning side of a few of them. Typically when my team begins to dominate and I can see we are pulling away, I'll throw in 4th and 5th string qbs. There were even a couple of games that I would line up my defense 10 yards off the los to give the other team some space to move the ball. One of the coaches even thanked me after we did that. That said, I refuse to tell my players to let up or let the other team score. I will make it more challenging for them certainly, but I always tell them to play 100% and if we score like that then so be it.

[pointyfootball 0]

As for lopsided scores, well, we have certainly been on the winning side of a few of them. Typically when my team begins to dominate and I can see we are pulling away, I'll throw in 4th and 5th string qbs. There were even a couple of games that I would line up my defense 10 yards off the los to give the other team some space to move the ball. One of the coaches even thanked me after we did that. That said, I refuse to tell my players to let up or let the other team score. I will make it more challenging for them certainly, but I always tell them to play 100% and if we score like that then so be it.

I have never advocated telling kids to let up on the field (although this could be a topic for another discussion - would it be so bad if kids do lay off?). If a coach can't figure out a way to make it so his/her team doesn't continue to crush the other team, they're either just not trying or the talent difference is so ridiculous that the league should prevent it in upcoming seasons. Put the worst QB in you have, let the QB call his own plays or make up plays, put the slowest kids on D, etc. In soccer, I've made the team have 5 passes before they can shoot, or they can only shoot with their "weak" foot. Sometimes there are instances that no matter what you do, you're going to kill the other team. We beat every team in our division (8 teams) this season and had the best defense (only gave up like 88 points in the regular season of 7 games). The worst team only scored 35ish points out of 7 games. When we played them, the score was like 28-12 because we changed up things to "give" them a chance to get some points. Our kids played hard but they were able to score on a pick-6 off of a kid who didn't play QB much for us and then score on a long run when our D was made up of the less athletic kids. So in looking at that other team's season, they only scored 23 points in 6 games.

I know it's not our responsibility to help other teams, but in a way, as recreational coaches, it is. The more kids we can keep excited/interested, the better for all of us. Especially if it's done in a sportsmanlike way.

Just my thoughts, and good to hear others approaching in a positive way as well.

PF

[Johnp2 21]

I have never advocated telling kids to let up on the field (although this could be a topic for another discussion - would it be so bad if kids do lay off?). If a coach can't figure out a way to make it so his/her team doesn't continue to crush the other team, they're either just not trying or the talent difference is so ridiculous that the league should prevent it in upcoming seasons.

I am RIGHT THERE with you. And this is coming from a guy who is in a league where we have teams whoop on each other by 60 or 70 points. Fortunately, the worst beating we took this year was by 24 points I believe, but I encourage the opposing coach to do whatever he feels is best as we want no charity.

If he wants to keep giving it to his best player while up 24 points, go for it. In the long run, it will make other our games seem easier. I think we really benefited this year by playing against some incredibly strong teams--and we played all of them very tough, and we pretty much a dark-horse teams did not want to play toward the end of the year. I don't have "first stringers, second stringers" etc. on my team---so if we end up running up the score it is simply because we stuck with our game plan and everyone was part of it.

One example: we were facing the best team in our league. Each team they played all season they won by 30+ points. We were down by (I think) 24 points. Our opponent had 1st and goal from about the eight yard line with a few seconds left. We stopped them from getting into the end zone three straight plays (I was geeked). I heard their coach tell the official, "Ahh, we'll give it to them---we want to punt." (meaning they give us the ball back on our 20).

When I heard that I called a time out and made a BIG deal out of it. "Give it to us? GIVE it to us?" I said to him. "We don't expect ANYTHING to be 'given' to us. Instead, we plan on TAKING it from you." He looked at me and said, "Are you serious?" I said "Yep, I don't think you CAN punch it in on us."

Now, know this coach has a LOT of pride--he's one of those who really enjoys running up the score, and was ticked at our team already as we played them close in our first game (we were the first and only team to score on them in two seasons). He said, "Allright, I was just thinking of your kids." My response: "So am I."

Of course I went in the huddle and told my team this is the one and only play they will remember from this game. I told them if we stop them, we have won a key battle in the game and can walk off proudly.

Well, we stopped them (my son who had been burned a few times in the game deflected the pass in the end zone). My team went bonkers like we had won the SuperBowl.

I'm not sure how I would have handled it had they scored on us---but that was a defining moment for my team. We earned that moral victory. ;-)