Stan, The part about your son being afraid of getting hit or hitting others. In my coaching experience (9-11yr olds)there are always kids in the beginning of the year that are afraid of hitting. If the coaches teach proper tackling techniques along with drills that build confidence those kids that are timid at first become confident and by the end of the year they aren't timid anymore. Actually these kids (usually first year players) are the most improved. If coached up these kids very rarely remain timid throughout the season. In my opinion that would be reason enough to try to pursuade my son.
