Not being in your situation, but only have been coaching for two years now and love it, but last year was assistant for flag(4-6 y/o) and assistant for JV tackle(9-10 y/o). I have one son in flag & other in JV tackle. Commisioner wanted me to be HC for flag this yr, because HC has twins in flag & one moving up to 9-10 y/o and wanted to be more involved w/JV team. Commisioner also is HC for JV team and told him that I would be OC for JV and DC for flag, leaving HC still at flag level and DC for JV team. Even though he is officially HC we both run the practices and we both run the games. Missed going to superbowl by 1 game in flag & JV. We communicate w/each other real good and have a really good working relationship, we always discuss the game before and after to make changes, sometimes during, but not much. I love working with the kids and teaching them different skills and the HC's work with the parents, refs, and other HC stuff, which leaves me time to make even our weakest link strong. So being an assistant might be the way to go, but i have two great HC to work with.