5 replies to this topic

[wild man]

Last year I made a rather bad decision, But as a parent not as a coach. My daughter is an excepional softball player she is always one of the 3 best players on her teams. Well last year as a freshman in high school she decided to go out for basketball. Now I would not be helping as a coach at all and I thought that would be good.

Now she may be terrific at softball she was one of the worst on the basketball team. If for no other reason than having never played before.
Well I was excited to go and watch her naturally. In the first game she did not play at all,Same for the second game. After five games still no play time. Guess What I did? NOTHING. You see I have done so much coaching that I did not want to be the problem parent that I have had to deal with myself.
And I figured with 30 games on the plate she will get worked in at some point. WELL the season ended with her playing aproxamatly 15 minuetes all season. And she was the only member of the team that never missed a practice. I also never saw her play because the only time she played was at away games when she was all that was left because of fouling out.

I never said a thing but I should have at least talked to the coach. My daughter now hates basketball and refuses to play again even for another coach.
So remember when you are just a parent dont be a pain in the ass but be a good parent when you need to be.

[derekd]

I think it would've been better if she were the one to go to the coach and discuss the issue, preferably after a practice.

[wild man]

I suppose that you are correct in that assumption However She is an overly nice person and probably felt that she would hurt someones feelings by doing so. It is strange to see a girl like this plow over a catcher at home plate but then feel like she is wrong by asking about something. I guess we both learned something from it though

[derekd]

I'm guessing that she was just trying to be a "team" player by not speaking up. While that is to be commended, she just needs to learn that it's okay to go to the coach with a concern. If she goes in with a professional attitude, I'm sure the discussion will be positive. Even if she disagrees with the coach, she'll at least understand the coach's position.

[Coach Larry]

Wow wild man,

That's rough. I really feel for you. I've been fortunate so far to not have this situation, but I usually ask at the first parent meeting, what the primary goals are for the team and how playing time is determined. That way, I can work with my kids to make sure they get as much playing time as possible.

If my child was in this situation, I agree with derekd that at some point I would have had my child approach the coach after practice and just ask what they could do/work on to possibly get more playing time. That would be a great learning experience and also lets the coach know that the player wants to play and is willing to work for it.

[Orange]

That's an interesting story. I think there comes a point where sport's teams will be more about winning than other things like player development and fun. It looks to me like this particular team/ coach was more about winning and playing the better players. I coach my son's and daughter's teams and they are young (10 & 6) and right now everyone plays equally. I think that's appropriate for their level. There will come a time though when it becomes more about winning. The local middle school has a basketball team which is similar to what you described. They have tryouts and end up cutting over a dozen kids who want to be on the team. I think school teams are usually like that. Your daughter should probably look into a club team, YMCA or city league where they have an everyone plays attitude. That would certainly be better for her development.