24 replies to this topic

[macvolcan]

First, sounds like they had fun, which is the number 1 goal, and accomplishing that in a butt whippin isn't always easy, so well done.

 

Around the side stuff, it can be difficult when stuff isn't called for sure, but sometimes that's just the nature of what happens with volunteer refs.  Doesn't sound like it was necessarily bad intent by the other team (atleast by your description), meaning that doesn't sound like there was too much in the way of player safety concerns?

 

Can you go into more details around the problem player?  Is this the same player as the 'lazy' player or a different problem entirely?

 

Also I wouldn't take the next week lightly, just because you beat a team early in the season doesn't mean that they won't play better the next time you play them.  Also sometimes your players know that you beat them last time and don't play as hard or focus, keep hammering in on the fundamental stuff (exchanges, flag pulling etc)

[jephil0]

Player safety--ultimately, it was fine.  The problem with the refs were that they were just very casual.  Although, in our league, it's volunteer coaches, the refs get paid!  But, one was clearly a high schooler, and the other wasn't much older.  The usual referee is probably in his early fifties, and the other one is at least in his twenties.  So when I saw how young they were, I wasn't too surprised by the lack of hustle on the part of last week's refs.  It usually goes that way with the soccer referees too.  That said, even the parents on the other team were telling the refs their own players were out of bounds.

 

Lazy player--Something has happened with him... He was at practice 30 minutes early (brought by his great uncle), and he was a whole different kid.  And since he was there so early, I got to do a lot of one on one time with him.  He's still not the best player, but he's actually trying really hard now.  I suspect that his uncle is trying to take more of an interest (he seems much more positive--doesn't tear him down the way the mom does), and that has helped a lot.

 

Problem player--The problem player...I can't quite figure him out.  He has apparently played soccer since he was two, and is really great at it (per the parents).  However, he wanted to switch to football at the last second, so they did.  His dad is really easy going (played football in high school apparently), I'm not sure what's up with Mom.  When Dad is there, he's basically fine, but the last two practices, mom brought him, and he starts out refusing to practice, and she makes a big scene with him, and then he sulks through everything (making it difficult for me), so when it comes game time, he doesn't really understand how the plays work, he botches the hand-offs, tries to take the ball when it isn't his turn, etc.  My best guess is that he has probably always been the best player on his soccer team, and is used to just taking the ball and doing everything, and can't figure out why he can't do that here.  But I don't know.  Generally, I don't like to reward bad behavior, but I played him a lot more than usual in this last game in hopes of integrating him into the team a little better.  I will find out in practice this afternoon if it actually worked.

 

Next game--You're absolutely right.  Getting cocky is a bad idea!  I guess I should put it this way--I feel confident that we will have a better game this time, as the first time we played them, 6 of the 9 players had never played football and had little to no idea what to do in a game.

 

As always, any and all advice is appreciated!

 

Jonathan

[Coach Rob]

Officials  -  Sounds like you know the drill, expect the refs not to catch all the calls.  Still, it can be frustrating when officials don't catch calls, especially at crucial times.  Best advice I can give you is be respectful to them as a coach, even if they blow the calls.  My parents and players also know to respect the officials (no yelling at them).   On the flip side, I see nothing wrong with calmly asking an official a question or for clarification.   "Could you watch #22, he's holding my guy on the line?"   or  "My #14 couldn't pull the flag because the opposing player was running beside the runner, isn't there a rule about that?"   If I feel like someone is going to get hurt, I'll jump in right away, again in a respectful way.

 

 

Problem Player - Boy, that's a tough one as I'm sure you want to help this kid.  However, I personally wouldn't sacrifice ball touches for my other players because of him.   Players need to respect the coach and their teammates. Have you tried a team speech about respecting the coaches and teammates?  Maybe painting a picture of what that looks like (e.g. 100% on every play, listening, no talking, etc.)?  In the end, again, I wouldn't let the player disrupt the experience for the players who aren't being a problem.  I know the league has requirements about play time, but I think that's more along the lines of kids sitting out for long periods of time.  If he's still acting out, I'd make sure he was on the field in places where the least damage could occur.

 

On a side note:  This is a good example of the importance of having a code of ethics/expectations for the players and parents to sign at the beginning of the season.  One set for the players and another for the parents.  Just because they sign it, doesn't mean everyone will follow it. At least you have a reference point if you need to remind folks at a later date.

[jephil0]

That's funny that you used that example of the offensive player running alongside the ball carrier!  That happened in our last game (the other team scored a touchdown because of it), and again in the game we played this past Saturday.  However, I took your advice and got it resolved.  We had an issue of flag guarding by the other team as well--also resolved.  So, thanks for that advice especially!

 

Oh!  And we won our game!  The problem player was absent, which was kind of good, in that our practice got rained out, so I wasn't able to work with him the way that I wanted to.  Our game was pretty sloppy, honestly.  But, it did the trick.

 

Any advice on dealing with parents of players who are divorced?  I have had this on every team I have ever coached--one parent signs the kid up, the other parent won't bring him/her on "their" weekend.  If you go back to post #5 of this thread--the problem is with the same player/his dad.  Obviously, I don't penalize the player because his dad won't bring him, but I wonder if I should ask for contact info for the dad and just tell him that his son is a part of our team and that we need him to be there.  Or, do you think that would just cause more trouble for my player?  How would you guys handle it?  Tell him to be there when he can, or potentially contact the father?

 

Jonathan

[Coach Rob]

Oh!  And we won our game!  

 

Any advice on dealing with parents of players who are divorced?  I have had this on every team I have ever coached--one parent signs the kid up, the other parent won't bring him/her on "their" weekend.  If you go back to post #5 of this thread--the problem is with the same player/his dad.  Obviously, I don't penalize the player because his dad won't bring him, but I wonder if I should ask for contact info for the dad and just tell him that his son is a part of our team and that we need him to be there.  Or, do you think that would just cause more trouble for my player?  How would you guys handle it?  Tell him to be there when he can, or potentially contact the father?

 

Jonathan

 

Congrats on the win!

 

Tough deal when you run into divorced parents who won't work together on these deals.  

 

My advice:

-Don't get involved in any personal conversations with either parent about the other parent if possible.  

-I would get the contact info of the dad and send reminders about practices/games.

 

After that, there's not much else you can do.  These are adults and they should be acting like it.  Sad as the kid is the one who is really affected in all of this.

[jephil0]

Here is a question regarding counting ball touches--if you have a player as center or quarterback, are you counting that as a touch as well, or only attempts to catch/carry for yardage?

 

J.

[Coach Rob]

I really try to get everyone hand-offs or receptions to count as a "touch".  I don't count playing the center position as getting touches.  The QB position is questionable.  They touch the ball a lot, however, every kid wants that chance to run or catch and make a TD.  If you have one or two kids playing QB more than the others, I'd still try and sneak in a few touches for them, but since they play QB, I'd make sure the others got their touches first.

[jephil0]

That makes sense.

 

You have any advice on getting the parents to show up early so the team can warm up?  Our practice got rained out last week, and I was at the field about 45 minutes early this past Saturday.  Most of the team got there so close to starting time that I was wondering if we were going to have enough players to be able to play!

 

Due to scheduling weirdness, we have another game today (so still no practice until Thursday) at 5:30 pm, which is a HORRIBLE time for people being able to get there.  I have pretty much begged and pleaded the team to get there early today if at all possible, but we'll see how it goes.  Any other advice you can think of before today's game?  (It's also picture day, which in soccer is traditionally one of THE WORST game days...)

 

Jonathan

[Coach Rob]

Since the game is today, you'll have to go with the flow at this point.  The other team is probably in the same boat.  If you can text them, shoot one out 2 hours before game time reminding them to show up at X time.    For regular practices, I scheduled the start times 15 min early knowing full well people would still show up 15 min late.  

 

EDIT:  I misread your question.  You were talking about getting parents/kids to show up early for games.  Establish a time and give yourself a cushion knowing parents will show up after your requested time.   Keep in mind you're dealing with parents that might not view this through the eyes of a coach.  You want to get them warmed up and go over a few things, they might be dealing with 3 other things before heading to the football field.   Another note for the team welcome letter before the season starts.   You could explain your reasoning behind wanting players to arrive early before games at the beginning of the season.  The pressure comes when a parent shows up late and all the other kids are already there. 

[jephil0]

The other team WAS in the same boat.  Up until about 5 minutes before our delayed game time, they only had four players. 

 

A few of our kids did show up early, but due to weather, we basically couldn't warm up!  Our game ended up pushed back 30 minutes due to thunderstorms, but we had a GREAT GAME.  The best we've done yet.  It was like by virtue of having to wait around an hour, the "problem" kids had enough time to get it out of their system!

 

Both of the players who have been difficult before were GREAT on defense!  And my son threw the first completed pass we've had all season.  By league rules, you MUST pass within 5 yards of the mid-field line or the endzone.  We were INCHES over the orange (passing zone) line, so we had to pass.  Our receiver caught it, was so surprised that he initially started to run the wrong way, then hooked back and ran it in for a touchdown!

 

We won 26 to 6. 

 

Funny anecdote--Apparently, the "lazy" player from before is nicknamed "Booty."  He was doing GREAT pulling flags in the game, and his mom started to cheer for him (which I was really glad of--given her previous comments).  My daughter is four years old.  So, every time my player did anything good, his mom would cheer, "Go Booty!"  At which time my daughter would giggle and say (*every* time), "She said booty..."

 

J.