17 replies to this topic

[coach c]

recently while watching my son in a flag football game. i was watching him as he walked back to the huddle , after the play was over with the qb and he was telling him that someone had been open on the other side. this is 10 11 age league so coaches are allowed on the field. when my son got in the huddle the coach grabbed him in the chest by his jersey and moved him to the other side ot the huddle, and reprimanded him for saying any thing to the qb. this action offended me as a father and a coach. after the game i confronted the coach off to the side. i tried to defend what my son did by explaining that when they play with us during the regular football season (pads) these boys are taught to communicate with each other. apparently he just saw that as coaching fom the sidelines. then when confronted with the way he aggressively handled my son i was told it was just football. this just pissed me off. i coach football,basketball, and my daughters fieldhockey team. never have i assaulted verbally or physically any child on any team i have coached over the past four years. not to say some weren't in some need of severe discipline. i believe as coaches we are showing children how to deal with a situation. i feel the coach should just have given me comfort in the fact that knowing it would not happen again. this is all i was asking for

[Dano]

It depends on the temperment of the coach.  I will frequently grab the face mask of my players and position them.  It's none aggressive and my players don't feel threatened.  However a coach has to be careful about this.  From the sideline it can appear differently.  I pulled one of my players out of a drill by the mask one day to talk to him about working out in the QB position because I was in search of a back up.  His mom ask me later what had her son done wrong.  She thought I was repremanding him.  A coach needs to be able to put his hands on his players.  Sometimes this involves moving them from one spot to another.  There's no way around it.  I would advise getting used to that part.  

Communicating and talking in the huddle are two different things.  My players are generally not aloud to talk in the huddle.  I don't want a bunch of chatter when my QB is trying to call a play.  The QB has the floor.  On the other hand if a someone needs help with a block or is not sure what to do please speak up.  Just don't do when the QB is calling the play.  Telling the QB someone is open on the other side of the field is not appropriate.  Telling the coach on the sidelines is.  I doubt at 10 years old a QB has the skill to read the pass coverage and go the 2nd or 3rd receiver.  

It sounds like the real issue here is the attitude of the coach.  That kind of stuff gets under my skin too.  As long as the coach is not truely harming the player this is something you will most likely have to get used to because there are alot of guys out there coaching acting like that.  The way I get around it is either I found a coach I respect to coach my son or I do it myself.

[ltlacy]

Hello there I'm a coach who is very physical with my players. In sports you need players who are not just physically strong but mentally strong. There is a difference with yelling at and yelling for the players. I yell and grab or tug players, I always tell the parents if your child is not complaining than you shouldn't. Lot's of times parents take things personal as if it is a threat on their parenting skills because coaching are getting on their babies. My yelling is for the kids awareness to go up and be prepared for the next level or in life. This is not an easy world and if kids are not taught to be mentally strong they will falter and be followers. Many parents always said, "He wouldn't yell at his princess like that". Well she was our watergirl in a game last year and she was taking her pretty little time and walk on the field and my kids were thirsty from battle during a timeout. I told her, "IF IT HAPPENS AGAIN GET IN THE STANDS WITH YOUR MOTHER". After that she ran everytime. Now she is playing basketball and I'm yelling all the time. She was very timid at first but I have seen the aggressiveness come about, I will pull the young ladies into position and tell them in a demanding voice what they did right and wrong. Like one coach said, "It seem worse than it is". I have a open floor after practice, it's time for the kids to speak about their likes and dislikes. Another thing if we are in the huddle and someone else is talking besides QB or me. There is a problem. If a player needs help trust me you can look in their eyes. Also remember not to talk about your childs coach to them, a coach who knows his players can tell. A lot of times because I'm so loud on the field or court people feel that I'm not approachable but when they see how my players and I are, they see the love and friendship. TO ALL PARENTS AND COACHES TAKE TIME TO GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER IT'S ABOUT THE PLAYERS AND BUILDING THEM FOR THE FUTURE.

[coach c]

Hello there I'm a coach who is very physical with my players. In sports you need players who are not just physically strong but mentally strong. There is a difference with yelling at and yelling for the players. I yell and grab or tug players, I always tell the parents if your child is not complaining than you shouldn't. Lot's of times parents take things personal as if it is a threat on their parenting skills because coaching are getting on their babies. My yelling is for the kids awareness to go up and be prepared for the next level or in life. This is not an easy world and if kids are not taught to be mentally strong they will falter and be followers. Many parents always said, "He wouldn't yell at his princess like that". Well she was our watergirl in a game last year and she was taking her pretty little time and walk on the field and my kids were thirsty from battle during a timeout. I told her, "IF IT HAPPENS AGAIN GET IN THE STANDS WITH YOUR MOTHER". After that she ran everytime. Now she is playing basketball and I'm yelling all the time. She was very timid at first but I have seen the aggressiveness come about, I will pull the young ladies into position and tell them in a demanding voice what they did right and wrong. Like one coach said, "It seem worse than it is". I have a open floor after practice, it's time for the kids to speak about their likes and dislikes. Another thing if we are in the huddle and someone else is talking besides QB or me. There is a problem. If a player needs help trust me you can look in their eyes. Also remember not to talk about your childs coach to them, a coach who knows his players can tell. A lot of times because I'm so loud on the field or court people feel that I'm not approachable but when they see how my players and I are, they see the love and friendship. TO ALL PARENTS AND COACHES TAKE TIME TO GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER IT'S ABOUT THE PLAYERS AND BUILDING THEM FOR THE FUTURE.

I appreciate your reply, but maybe you did not read my comment clearly. I did not say there was talking in the huddle. I said he was communicating with the QB on the way back to the huddle. If I may quote from the fourth edition of coaching youth football by the american sports education program-it reads, keep in mind that as a coach you need to be a teacher first and any action that detracts from the message you are trying to convey to your players should be avoided. Calm and controlled actions and voice allow players to focus on your message rather than what your personal feelings may be. From the football coaching bible put out by the american football coaches association-Use of proper language and the ability to present your ideas has great bearing on advancement in professional life. A leader must be a communicator, and language is an important tool that we use to convey thoughts, ideas, and passion. Someone is looking up to each of us right now, emulating what we do and what we say. In other words, being a role model means that we are influencing those who look up to us with our work and actions. These are the words and thoughts of Grant Teaff (Baylor University's head football coach for 22 years). Joe Paterno states a coach is first a teacher. As a coach, you have a strong impact on the lives of the young people you deal with, second only to the influence of their families and perhaps their churches. Never lose sight of the fact that you are dealing with young people. You are a teacher, and not only do you teach techniques, you teach principles that will help players throughout their lives: discipline, camaraderie, loyalty, trust, and the other intangibles we talk about all the time. Remember that you are dealing with young, mostly teenage, men who don't really know who they are and aren't sure where they're headed. Sometimes we tell young kids, be a man, but when they look around the inner city, the "man" is the guy with the fancy car who is peddling drugs. So we can't just say things. We need to lead by example. We have to make players understand that if they work hard and do things the right way, they will be better people and will have a better chance of being happy and having successful lives. These are the principles that I choose to coach by. Therefore if you choose to coach by degradation, you are teaching your players to teach others to learn this way. The root of my original comment was that my son was grabbed in an aggressive manner by the front of his jersey and moved from one place to another. If you condone this action, you are no better than he. This is not a positive way to send a message to a child or anyone else. You are teaching this child to handle matters in a physical way. As I mentioned before, I've coached for four years in three different sports and I have never degraded nor physically touched a player in a demeaning manner. That is what builds discipline and respect and opens the avenue of communication in your players. In closing, I constantly reevaluate myself as a coach and as a human being and I believe that through this process I become a better individual altogether.
Coach C

[slogar1]

Itlacy,
That was an excellent explanation of not only what you do, but why you do it. So many parents come into youth football and think it will be like baseball and many get upset the first time their kid gets yelled at. We have now incorporated the explanation of yelling and getting physical with players into our parent talk before the first practice so it won't be so much of a shock to them. Football is not baseball!

[ltlacy]

Hello there I'm a coach who is very physical with my players. In sports you need players who are not just physically strong but mentally strong. There is a difference with yelling at and yelling for the players. I yell and grab or tug players, I always tell the parents if your child is not complaining than you shouldn't. Lot's of times parents take things personal as if it is a threat on their parenting skills because coaching are getting on their babies. My yelling is for the kids awareness to go up and be prepared for the next level or in life. This is not an easy world and if kids are not taught to be mentally strong they will falter and be followers. Many parents always said, "He wouldn't yell at his princess like that". Well she was our watergirl in a game last year and she was taking her pretty little time and walk on the field and my kids were thirsty from battle during a timeout. I told her, "IF IT HAPPENS AGAIN GET IN THE STANDS WITH YOUR MOTHER". After that she ran everytime. Now she is playing basketball and I'm yelling all the time. She was very timid at first but I have seen the aggressiveness come about, I will pull the young ladies into position and tell them in a demanding voice what they did right and wrong. Like one coach said, "It seem worse than it is". I have a open floor after practice, it's time for the kids to speak about their likes and dislikes. Another thing if we are in the huddle and someone else is talking besides QB or me. There is a problem. If a player needs help trust me you can look in their eyes. Also remember not to talk about your childs coach to them, a coach who knows his players can tell. A lot of times because I'm so loud on the field or court people feel that I'm not approachable but when they see how my players and I are, they see the love and friendship. TO ALL PARENTS AND COACHES TAKE TIME TO GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER IT'S ABOUT THE PLAYERS AND BUILDING THEM FOR THE FUTURE.

I appreciate your reply, but maybe you did not read my comment clearly. I did not say there was talking in the huddle. I said he was communicating with the QB on the way back to the huddle. If I may quote from the fourth edition of coaching youth football by the american sports education program-it reads, keep in mind that as a coach you need to be a teacher first and any action that detracts from the message you are trying to convey to your players should be avoided. Calm and controlled actions and voice allow players to focus on your message rather than what your personal feelings may be. From the football coaching bible put out by the american football coaches association-Use of proper language and the ability to present your ideas has great bearing on advancement in professional life. A leader must be a communicator, and language is an important tool that we use to convey thoughts, ideas, and passion. Someone is looking up to each of us right now, emulating what we do and what we say. In other words, being a role model means that we are influencing those who look up to us with our work and actions. These are the words and thoughts of Grant Teaff (Baylor University's head football coach for 22 years). Joe Paterno states a coach is first a teacher. As a coach, you have a strong impact on the lives of the young people you deal with, second only to the influence of their families and perhaps their churches. Never lose sight of the fact that you are dealing with young people. You are a teacher, and not only do you teach techniques, you teach principles that will help players throughout their lives: discipline, camaraderie, loyalty, trust, and the other intangibles we talk about all the time. Remember that you are dealing with young, mostly teenage, men who don't really know who they are and aren't sure where they're headed. Sometimes we tell young kids, be a man, but when they look around the inner city, the "man" is the guy with the fancy car who is peddling drugs. So we can't just say things. We need to lead by example. We have to make players understand that if they work hard and do things the right way, they will be better people and will have a better chance of being happy and having successful lives. These are the principles that I choose to coach by. Therefore if you choose to coach by degradation, you are teaching your players to teach others to learn this way. The root of my original comment was that my son was grabbed in an aggressive manner by the front of his jersey and moved from one place to another. If you condone this action, you are no better than he. This is not a positive way to send a message to a child or anyone else. You are teaching this child to handle matters in a physical way. As I mentioned before, I've coached for four years in three different sports and I have never degraded nor physically touched a player in a demeaning manner. That is what builds discipline and respect and opens the avenue of communication in your players. In closing, I constantly reevaluate myself as a coach and as a human being and I believe that through this process I become a better individual altogether.
Coach C

Ok if you are a coach how would you feel if kids are talking going back to the huddle instead of hustling back how they are suppose to. When you are waiting to set up the next play. There are no super stars on my team just stars. If one run to the huddle all run to the huddle. I understand that I might have offended you. Sometimes it will happen. Did the coach grab and slam your child to the ground? no. How was anything I said degrading? none. It's good that you have read books but HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN THE WARROOM OR HALFTIME WITH ANY OF THE COACHES YOU MENTIONED? no. I think if your child was being beaten or harassed you would have called authorities instead of making a post. I'm very sorry that I didn't see the matter in the same way that you did. Also funny that you mentioned about being a teacher because I am one in Math. Also funny you mentioned about building kids up. I teach in Compton Ca. A place where most youth are forgotten but not by me. I coached a youth team in Compton from 9-10 thru 12-13 year olds of 25 players. None were involved in gangs, most attend Church, and all maintain good grades in which I tutor them. When they were entering Dominguez High School, they asked the A.D. if I could coach them. He said, "Yes". If you watch high school football you will here about them hopefully all positive. This is a tough world nothing comes easy I have lived it and teach it. I accept what you have said but I disagree maybe you are a millionaire and can give your child everything he wants but in my community must earn everything and I'm going to give Them LOVING DISCIPLINE just as God did for us 40 years and it wasn't called genocide. For evaluating myself, yes I do. On my current youth team there was unethical things going on in which we have a great football team but because of the issues going on I left and will not be coming back. I think you are trying to judge me instead of reading the football coaching Bible read the Holy Bible. It is about the kids and I have never forgotten and never will. Maybe the problem was I didn't put my quote up.

MAY GOD KEEP BLESSING US ALL

Itlacy,
That was an excellent explanation of not only what you do, but why you do it. So many parents come into youth football and think it will be like baseball and many get upset the first time their kid gets yelled at. We have now incorporated the explanation of yelling and getting physical with players into our parent talk before the first practice so it won't be so much of a shock to them. Football is not baseball!

Thanks at least someone agrees LOL

M G K B U A
L. T. LACY

[austcoach]

If you're being physical with your players - you shouldn't be in a position of authority and responsibility with kids. You're not coaching when you're being physical or rough physically with a kid, you're just your old HS coach who apparently was ignorant about how to coach - so frustration creeps in and you resort to what you know best - force through intimidation. That's not coaching, my friend. That's just physical abuse - period. Sounds like you need to take some time off, get your ego in check and rethink what is your real purpose as a coach. That doesn't make anyone physically tougher, they just begin hating you. And I'll match my credentials and season records with you anytime to show that's not the way to handle kiddos.

All I can say is you grab or treat one of my kids or players in that manner and you'd have a much bigger issue to contend with - mainly this 6'4", 265 guy. Grow up and be an adult and teacher instead of some redneck - these are the types of items which drives kids OUT of sports. Way to go, dad.

Hello there I'm a coach who is very physical with my players. In sports you need players who are not just physically strong but mentally strong. There is a difference with yelling at and yelling for the players. I yell and grab or tug players, I always tell the parents if your child is not complaining than you shouldn't. Lot's of times parents take things personal as if it is a threat on their parenting skills because coaching are getting on their babies. My yelling is for the kids awareness to go up and be prepared for the next level or in life. This is not an easy world and if kids are not taught to be mentally strong they will falter and be followers. Many parents always said, "He wouldn't yell at his princess like that". Well she was our watergirl in a game last year and she was taking her pretty little time and walk on the field and my kids were thirsty from battle during a timeout. I told her, "IF IT HAPPENS AGAIN GET IN THE STANDS WITH YOUR MOTHER". After that she ran everytime. Now she is playing basketball and I'm yelling all the time. She was very timid at first but I have seen the aggressiveness come about, I will pull the young ladies into position and tell them in a demanding voice what they did right and wrong. Like one coach said, "It seem worse than it is". I have a open floor after practice, it's time for the kids to speak about their likes and dislikes. Another thing if we are in the huddle and someone else is talking besides QB or me. There is a problem. If a player needs help trust me you can look in their eyes. Also remember not to talk about your childs coach to them, a coach who knows his players can tell. A lot of times because I'm so loud on the field or court people feel that I'm not approachable but when they see how my players and I are, they see the love and friendship. TO ALL PARENTS AND COACHES TAKE TIME TO GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER IT'S ABOUT THE PLAYERS AND BUILDING THEM FOR THE FUTURE.

I appreciate your reply, but maybe you did not read my comment clearly. I did not say there was talking in the huddle. I said he was communicating with the QB on the way back to the huddle. If I may quote from the fourth edition of coaching youth football by the american sports education program-it reads, keep in mind that as a coach you need to be a teacher first and any action that detracts from the message you are trying to convey to your players should be avoided. Calm and controlled actions and voice allow players to focus on your message rather than what your personal feelings may be. From the football coaching bible put out by the american football coaches association-Use of proper language and the ability to present your ideas has great bearing on advancement in professional life. A leader must be a communicator, and language is an important tool that we use to convey thoughts, ideas, and passion. Someone is looking up to each of us right now, emulating what we do and what we say. In other words, being a role model means that we are influencing those who look up to us with our work and actions. These are the words and thoughts of Grant Teaff (Baylor University's head football coach for 22 years). Joe Paterno states a coach is first a teacher. As a coach, you have a strong impact on the lives of the young people you deal with, second only to the influence of their families and perhaps their churches. Never lose sight of the fact that you are dealing with young people. You are a teacher, and not only do you teach techniques, you teach principles that will help players throughout their lives: discipline, camaraderie, loyalty, trust, and the other intangibles we talk about all the time. Remember that you are dealing with young, mostly teenage, men who don't really know who they are and aren't sure where they're headed. Sometimes we tell young kids, be a man, but when they look around the inner city, the "man" is the guy with the fancy car who is peddling drugs. So we can't just say things. We need to lead by example. We have to make players understand that if they work hard and do things the right way, they will be better people and will have a better chance of being happy and having successful lives. These are the principles that I choose to coach by. Therefore if you choose to coach by degradation, you are teaching your players to teach others to learn this way. The root of my original comment was that my son was grabbed in an aggressive manner by the front of his jersey and moved from one place to another. If you condone this action, you are no better than he. This is not a positive way to send a message to a child or anyone else. You are teaching this child to handle matters in a physical way. As I mentioned before, I've coached for four years in three different sports and I have never degraded nor physically touched a player in a demeaning manner. That is what builds discipline and respect and opens the avenue of communication in your players. In closing, I constantly reevaluate myself as a coach and as a human being and I believe that through this process I become a better individual altogether.
Coach C

Ok if you are a coach how would you feel if kids are talking going back to the huddle instead of hustling back how they are suppose to. When you are waiting to set up the next play. There are no super stars on my team just stars. If one run to the huddle all run to the huddle. I understand that I might have offended you. Sometimes it will happen. Did the coach grab and slam your child to the ground? no. How was anything I said degrading? none. It's good that you have read books but HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN THE WARROOM OR HALFTIME WITH ANY OF THE COACHES YOU MENTIONED? no. I think if your child was being beaten or harassed you would have called authorities instead of making a post. I'm very sorry that I didn't see the matter in the same way that you did. Also funny that you mentioned about being a teacher because I am one in Math. Also funny you mentioned about building kids up. I teach in Compton Ca. A place where most youth are forgotten but not by me. I coached a youth team in Compton from 9-10 thru 12-13 year olds of 25 players. None were involved in gangs, most attend Church, and all maintain good grades in which I tutor them. When they were entering Dominguez High School, they asked the A.D. if I could coach them. He said, "Yes". If you watch high school football you will here about them hopefully all positive. This is a tough world nothing comes easy I have lived it and teach it. I accept what you have said but I disagree maybe you are a millionaire and can give your child everything he wants but in my community must earn everything and I'm going to give Them LOVING DISCIPLINE just as God did for us 40 years and it wasn't called genocide. For evaluating myself, yes I do. On my current youth team there was unethical things going on in which we have a great football team but because of the issues going on I left and will not be coming back. I think you are trying to judge me instead of reading the football coaching Bible read the Holy Bible. It is about the kids and I have never forgotten and never will. Maybe the problem was I didn't put my quote up.

MAY GOD KEEP BLESSING US ALL

Itlacy,
That was an excellent explanation of not only what you do, but why you do it. So many parents come into youth football and think it will be like baseball and many get upset the first time their kid gets yelled at. We have now incorporated the explanation of yelling and getting physical with players into our parent talk before the first practice so it won't be so much of a shock to them. Football is not baseball!

Thanks at least someone agrees LOL

M G K B U A
L. T. LACY

[ltlacy]

Coach, why so much anger I have never thrown a player or hurt any of my players. Yes, I am physical with my players not abusive. All my players love and adore me. sometimes you have to break kids of their ways and build them into yours. You are saying that I have a ego or something, it's sounds like you have one wanting to compare records which I don't mind but it is not necessary. I'm proud of MY kids record and to be apart of it. For the redneck comment you must not be a Christian and you are on a Christian sports website. If I was abusive I wouldn't not have been in coaching so long and been successful not only with my kids accomplishment on and off the fields. Also because you are 6'4 245 doesn't mean a thing ask Goliath then read what Caleb said. I think you are being a bit childish but as of being afraid never I teach the bigger they are the harder tell fall. We break teams down physically then mentally. You must have issues man or just needed something to take your frustation out. I'm glad you have done it here and not on some innocent person or kid. If you have never put a kid into position briskly I would be surprise. No matter everyone do things different and kids respond differently. I have never lost a kid because of my physical nature and i never use intimidation on my kids but I do teach them to not be intimidated. Because once you are you have already lost the battle.
MAY GOD KEEP BLESSING US ALL
L. T. LACY

If you're being physical with your players - you shouldn't be in a position of authority and responsibility with kids. You're not coaching when you're being physical or rough physically with a kid, you're just your old HS coach who apparently was ignorant about how to coach - so frustration creeps in and you resort to what you know best - force through intimidation. That's not coaching, my friend. That's just physical abuse - period. Sounds like you need to take some time off, get your ego in check and rethink what is your real purpose as a coach. That doesn't make anyone physically tougher, they just begin hating you. And I'll match my credentials and season records with you anytime to show that's not the way to handle kiddos.

All I can say is you grab or treat one of my kids or players in that manner and you'd have a much bigger issue to contend with - mainly this 6'4", 265 guy. Grow up and be an adult and teacher instead of some redneck - these are the types of items which drives kids OUT of sports. Way to go, dad.

Hello there I'm a coach who is very physical with my players. In sports you need players who are not just physically strong but mentally strong. There is a difference with yelling at and yelling for the players. I yell and grab or tug players, I always tell the parents if your child is not complaining than you shouldn't. Lot's of times parents take things personal as if it is a threat on their parenting skills because coaching are getting on their babies. My yelling is for the kids awareness to go up and be prepared for the next level or in life. This is not an easy world and if kids are not taught to be mentally strong they will falter and be followers. Many parents always said, "He wouldn't yell at his princess like that". Well she was our watergirl in a game last year and she was taking her pretty little time and walk on the field and my kids were thirsty from battle during a timeout. I told her, "IF IT HAPPENS AGAIN GET IN THE STANDS WITH YOUR MOTHER". After that she ran everytime. Now she is playing basketball and I'm yelling all the time. She was very timid at first but I have seen the aggressiveness come about, I will pull the young ladies into position and tell them in a demanding voice what they did right and wrong. Like one coach said, "It seem worse than it is". I have a open floor after practice, it's time for the kids to speak about their likes and dislikes. Another thing if we are in the huddle and someone else is talking besides QB or me. There is a problem. If a player needs help trust me you can look in their eyes. Also remember not to talk about your childs coach to them, a coach who knows his players can tell. A lot of times because I'm so loud on the field or court people feel that I'm not approachable but when they see how my players and I are, they see the love and friendship. TO ALL PARENTS AND COACHES TAKE TIME TO GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER IT'S ABOUT THE PLAYERS AND BUILDING THEM FOR THE FUTURE.

I appreciate your reply, but maybe you did not read my comment clearly. I did not say there was talking in the huddle. I said he was communicating with the QB on the way back to the huddle. If I may quote from the fourth edition of coaching youth football by the american sports education program-it reads, keep in mind that as a coach you need to be a teacher first and any action that detracts from the message you are trying to convey to your players should be avoided. Calm and controlled actions and voice allow players to focus on your message rather than what your personal feelings may be. From the football coaching bible put out by the american football coaches association-Use of proper language and the ability to present your ideas has great bearing on advancement in professional life. A leader must be a communicator, and language is an important tool that we use to convey thoughts, ideas, and passion. Someone is looking up to each of us right now, emulating what we do and what we say. In other words, being a role model means that we are influencing those who look up to us with our work and actions. These are the words and thoughts of Grant Teaff (Baylor University's head football coach for 22 years). Joe Paterno states a coach is first a teacher. As a coach, you have a strong impact on the lives of the young people you deal with, second only to the influence of their families and perhaps their churches. Never lose sight of the fact that you are dealing with young people. You are a teacher, and not only do you teach techniques, you teach principles that will help players throughout their lives: discipline, camaraderie, loyalty, trust, and the other intangibles we talk about all the time. Remember that you are dealing with young, mostly teenage, men who don't really know who they are and aren't sure where they're headed. Sometimes we tell young kids, be a man, but when they look around the inner city, the "man" is the guy with the fancy car who is peddling drugs. So we can't just say things. We need to lead by example. We have to make players understand that if they work hard and do things the right way, they will be better people and will have a better chance of being happy and having successful lives. These are the principles that I choose to coach by. Therefore if you choose to coach by degradation, you are teaching your players to teach others to learn this way. The root of my original comment was that my son was grabbed in an aggressive manner by the front of his jersey and moved from one place to another. If you condone this action, you are no better than he. This is not a positive way to send a message to a child or anyone else. You are teaching this child to handle matters in a physical way. As I mentioned before, I've coached for four years in three different sports and I have never degraded nor physically touched a player in a demeaning manner. That is what builds discipline and respect and opens the avenue of communication in your players. In closing, I constantly reevaluate myself as a coach and as a human being and I believe that through this process I become a better individual altogether.
Coach C

Ok if you are a coach how would you feel if kids are talking going back to the huddle instead of hustling back how they are suppose to. When you are waiting to set up the next play. There are no super stars on my team just stars. If one run to the huddle all run to the huddle. I understand that I might have offended you. Sometimes it will happen. Did the coach grab and slam your child to the ground? no. How was anything I said degrading? none. It's good that you have read books but HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN THE WARROOM OR HALFTIME WITH ANY OF THE COACHES YOU MENTIONED? no. I think if your child was being beaten or harassed you would have called authorities instead of making a post. I'm very sorry that I didn't see the matter in the same way that you did. Also funny that you mentioned about being a teacher because I am one in Math. Also funny you mentioned about building kids up. I teach in Compton Ca. A place where most youth are forgotten but not by me. I coached a youth team in Compton from 9-10 thru 12-13 year olds of 25 players. None were involved in gangs, most attend Church, and all maintain good grades in which I tutor them. When they were entering Dominguez High School, they asked the A.D. if I could coach them. He said, "Yes". If you watch high school football you will here about them hopefully all positive. This is a tough world nothing comes easy I have lived it and teach it. I accept what you have said but I disagree maybe you are a millionaire and can give your child everything he wants but in my community must earn everything and I'm going to give Them LOVING DISCIPLINE just as God did for us 40 years and it wasn't called genocide. For evaluating myself, yes I do. On my current youth team there was unethical things going on in which we have a great football team but because of the issues going on I left and will not be coming back. I think you are trying to judge me instead of reading the football coaching Bible read the Holy Bible. It is about the kids and I have never forgotten and never will. Maybe the problem was I didn't put my quote up.

MAY GOD KEEP BLESSING US ALL

Itlacy,
That was an excellent explanation of not only what you do, but why you do it. So many parents come into youth football and think it will be like baseball and many get upset the first time their kid gets yelled at. We have now incorporated the explanation of yelling and getting physical with players into our parent talk before the first practice so it won't be so much of a shock to them. Football is not baseball!

Thanks at least someone agrees LOL

M G K B U A
L. T. LACY

[coachjones49224]

My two cents....again

Talking in the huddle. thats up to the HC some encourage it others don't. fell free for the ones that let you and shut up for ones that don't. It's just that simple.

Now as far as grabbing a child in an aggressive manner. Come on people there is no place in youth sports for that kind of behavior. Heck, that's assault. What are we teaching our children? It's O.K. to grab someone if you are upset with them. Please!! There is absolutly no, i mean no reson for him to do that. Hey i got an idea next time the coaches makes a mistake, let's just say call the wrong play let's grab him aggressivly and say don't do that again. I betcha he wouldn't like it too much. If a child makes a mistake and there children they'll make them. Let's explained what they did wrong and work on it during practice.

that guy is lucky becuase you are a bigger man than me. I don't think I would have handled myself in such of an cordial manner as you did.

[ltlacy]

Coach, I don't think the coach grabbed the child and yanked his neck off. I know I have placed a child in position. We are taking this topic way out of context. Many parents just don't like seeing their child getting discipline by someone else. If the coach choked the player out then I understand to be mad. But if it is just the placement of the child I don't see anything wrong with it.
M G K B U A
L. T. LACY

My two cents....again

Talking in the huddle. thats up to the HC some encourage it others don't. fell free for the ones that let you and shut up for ones that don't. It's just that simple.

Now as far as grabbing a child in an aggressive manner. Come on people there is no place in youth sports for that kind of behavior. Heck, that's assault. What are we teaching our children? It's O.K. to grab someone if you are upset with them. Please!! There is absolutly no, i mean no reson for him to do that. Hey i got an idea next time the coaches makes a mistake, let's just say call the wrong play let's grab him aggressivly and say don't do that again. I betcha he wouldn't like it too much. If a child makes a mistake and there children they'll make them. Let's explained what they did wrong and work on it during practice.

that guy is lucky becuase you are a bigger man than me. I don't think I would have handled myself in such of an cordial manner as you did.

[mlbryant]

It depends on the temperment of the coach. I will frequently grab the face mask of my players and position them. It's none aggressive and my players don't feel threatened. However a coach has to be careful about this.

In our league, the first offense of this is a $100 league fine. Second offense coach is banned. You cannot touch a players face mask in our league.

I also disagree with physical contact. I really can't see a need for it. If you do not have the leadership ability to deal with disciplinary actions without physcial confrontation, I would think you need to examine why. To be an effective coach without all the threats, yelling, and physical contact, you need to have good leadership skills.

Personally, I set the precedences early and, most importantly, ALWAYS follow through with them. If not hustling to the huddle is against the coach's policy, then the coach needs to continually reinforce the behavior of getting to the huddle quickly. Set up a system of rewards for proper behavior and punishments for improper behavior. If you always follow through with these, you'll find that there will be less lapses in discipline.

Before the season begins, my coaches and I decide the team rules (as well as the multitude of other things that have to be worked out). The team rules are printed out and handed to each parent. We then hold ourselves to these rules throughout the season.

I have found doing this has greatly reduced my discipline problems and made coaching much more enjoyable.

[zebracoach]

I have the pleasure of officiating dozens of youth games each season at the younger age groups (under10). I will, without hesitaiton, flag a coach for grabbing a players face mask.
Coaches can rationalize it all they want. It is wrong.
If you cannot find another way to get your players' attention maybe you should consider another avocation.
I make the call USC and let the coach know, one more and he's in the parking lot.

[Soonerhawk]

My head is spinning.

I must say a couple things.

There is never any excuse for a kid walking back to the huddle and communicating to the QB that someone was open or wasn't open. As a coach I just can imagine that it was probably a divisive action in some way therefore he reacted the way he did.

The touching thing can be a a well, "touchy" subject. Our organization banned all physical contact with players one year. It was the biggest crock I have ever seen. I agree there is no room for physical abuse. But, you can not have a "hands off" approach in football.

IMO, if the physical contact is done in some type of manner where the kid feels physically intimidated then the coach has gone overboard. If the coach is using physical contact as a means of teaching, moving players, instructing or getting the players attention then I don't see an issue. Unless the player feels physically intimidated by the coach.

As a coach I fully expect to communicate with my parents on a daily basis. I want them to talk to me. I also fully expect that my assistant coaches are completely open with me on how I handle situations, as I will be with them.

[zebracoach]

[size=7] I agree that a certain amount of physical contact is OK. But if the criteria is ..."as long as the player doesn't feel intimidated"....How can you tell...a kid may just clam up. That's why anything on the agressive side needs to be modified.
JMO

[coachbreck]

I have not said anything about this topic and I was hoping it would go away. I am going to add my two meaningless cents into the frey.

Let's get real here people, we obviously know if a coach is out of line and man handles a kid to the point of a kid getting injured. That is a no brainer.

But lets not get that confused with little Johnny's feelings getting hurt or feeling physically intimidated. Or worse Mommy or Daddy's feelings getting hurt because their baby who gets no disipline at home gets disipined by a coach in a disipline game of football.

I watched some film of last years games the other day and I saw myself hooking my finger in the bottom bar of kids face masks to make sure they were looking me in the eye while I was instructing them on some blocking adjustments not yelling just coaching in an intense game.

just curious would you give me a $100 fine for that? then kick me out of coaching?