kjtvc

There's no accounting for some coaches' actions. There was a similar game in our league where the first place team was winning 30-4 or something like that, and the winning coach kept his starters in, even as HIS OWN TEAM'S PARENTS yelled from the sidelines to put his other girls in the game. It happens. It shouldn't, of course, but it happens.

The team he was playing spread his playing time out evenly (not that it would affect the game), simply because that's his approach to the game. He taught his girls one thing, and the other coach taught his girls something else. But both girls learned from the other coaches, too, whether they realized it or not.

My own daughter played for a screamer coach for a year, and then she quit. He is a successful coach, and he's had teams play in Orlando for the AAU championships a couple times, but my daughter didn't value playing for a winning team over enjoying playing. She now plays for a parish team at a much lower level. Most of her former teammates still play for the screamer. Most of her new teammates cannot even make a proper layup. My daughter doesn't care. She enjoys playing with them. Everyone has to make their own choices.

Your daughter has to decide what is important to her: enjoying the game, competition, winning, loyalty to you and your team, facing reality (meaning there are coaches like this, and she'll grin and bear it), etc. For some, the decision is easy. For others, it's not an easy call. Good luck.

Kenny

Any parents that go ballistic after the first practice are likely going to be problematic at every practice. You may want to recruit certain parents as assistants (assuming you need any) and then tell the rest that you may watch, but if you interrupt, you will not be welcome at practice. If they say you can't ban them, then you have a choice to make here: you either allow them to dictate prcedures to you, or you ask them and their child to leave.

You might get lucky. The parent may realize they overstepped their bounds and take a step back. More likely, though, is they will take their child and go.

Obviously, this is punishing the child for the sins of the parent, but you either punish that one family by kicking them out or you punish all your families by letting them stay. Coaching isn't fair. Then again, life isn't fair, either. BUT if you want to lead the rest of your girls through a season of softball, you sometimes have to do things like this.

Good luck.

Kenny

By the way, perhaps the reason you haven't gotten responses before is you posted this under "Softball." Maybe you could check the soccer boards for the same topic.

Kenny

Four years old? I assume you've tried taking him to a game. If not, that's probably the best place to start. Otherwise, let him choose when he's ready. When he's ready, he'll let you know.

Also, take a moment to step back and evaluate your own ambition. Perhaps he senses your desire to see your son play, rather than your desire to see him play, if you know what I mean. Kids can sense this at the earliest age.

Kenny

"Can anyone give me six qualities of a good coach?"

Just curious, but why six?

An old saying goes, Anybody can teach Xs and Os, but a great coach inspires. That should be number one on any list.

Caring is important. You cannot lead a team if you don't care about them. Not about their play, but about them as people.

Not caring too much. If you care more about winning the game than they do, perhaps you need to revisit your priorities. (I once witnessed a coach screaming at his crying third graders, "I WANT THIS GAME!" It was shameful.)

Know the game. Simply put, you cannot teach that which you do not know.

Preparation. A modestly intelligent coach with a plan is vastly superior to an intelligent coach with no plan. The first coach may cram as much teaching into one practice as the second teaches in four. Preparation is the key.

Thick skin. Parents will argue with you, refs won’t see things your way, and you can never please everyone. You need to accept this from Day One. As the saying goes, If you can’t take the heat, then get out of the kitchen.

IMHO.

Kenny